What The Fuck Have We Done To Ourselves?

What has happened to our dating culture?
Shouldn't it be love/like/care openly...whatever it is you feel, feel it? 
It's not quite like that, now is it?

I've been single for over a year now.
I've met countless guys, men, and fuck boys..(yes, there is a difference.)
I've went on dates, had coffee, made dinner, went for hikes, and had dinner made for me. 
I've met amazing people and then I've met people that made me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've suffered through god awful conversations and had some great laughs as well.
I'm getting somewhere with all of this though..
Something has happened to our generation and it's actually pretty pathetic.
It's like everyone is just these sex crazed animals and judgmental assholes.
Which don't get me wrong is fine if that's what you're into but what happened to talking?
What happened to the act of getting to know someone?
What happened to the act of getting to know one person, not five at the same time?
What happened to calling someone back after a good night? 
(like a legit goodnight, not a one-sided "I think it went well night.") 
We are to busy passing our feelings over pictures on social media or with drunken slurs over loud music in bars. We live in a dating generation of texting, lies, sexting, and one night stands....
What the fuck have we done to ourselves?

In a time when we can't even spend one night with someone without picking up a phone to check a call, a text, or some sort of social media...our dating lives are only going to get worse from here if we're not careful.  
We get judged for spending too much time getting ready and are labeled as high maintenance. 
On the other hand, if we spend too little time getting ready, we don't care about ourselves or get labeled as a slob.  
If we sleep with someone too soon, we're a slut..If we wait, we're a prude. 
No one can be themselves and I don't know why.
People are afraid to show their true colors...
It's like you have to put on this mask to meet people. 
What the fuck do you want from us?! 
What is right and wrong now-a-days?
I'm pretty sure we need a dating handbook...

My past relationship came to a point where our roads diverged, 
Now I'm treading this single dating road and it's a goddamned nightmare. 
Maybe I just forgot what it was like, but I'd put money on it that it wasn't like this four years ago...Not that I remember anyway...
I met a guy at a friends house, super rad dude, we hit it off, so we swapped numbers.
The first text I get is one saying how do I feel about a guy waiting three days to text after you get a number. 
I called bullshit. I said it was stupid. 
What is this 3 day waiting rule? Bullshit.
If you like someone go for it. What the fuck is the big deal? 
Guess what, we texted very rarely. 
I now know why...
I found out he has a girlfriend...
What is wrong with you guy?! 
If you're unhappy get out...Don't settle.
But most certainly, don't cheat, even emotionally, and don't make me out to be the homewrecker.

In a time where people literally jump from relationship to relationship claiming love, obsession, or whatever the fuck it is you think you feel...some people are forgetting who they are.
Women have become more forward...it's like men forgot how to do anything. 
We are approachable, I promise.
If we don't want to talk, you'll know, I promise.
However, I've never seen a more sensitive generation of guys in my life.
You get offended because I say I don't want to meet up with you tonight?
Please, grow up fuck boy.

Who is supposed to text or call who? 
Are you waiting for me to text you again? 
Because I don't chase people. 
If I reach out and you don't respond. That's on you.
You're not about to make me out to be the clingy and needy girl.  
Communication works both ways.
And THAT my friends is the problem...
Communication is gone..Completely and 100% disappeared. 
Everyone talks about how they want a relationship or a family one day but you can't even make the effort to return a phone call or a text..that is something strange to me. 
And you are supposed to have a relationship, how??
Please enlighten me...

So do me a favor single people of the world..Let your intentions be known. 
Don't string people along. 
Its okay to say you only want to be friends or fuck buddies or to say that you don't want a relationship, but don't pretend you do only to break someone later down the road. 
Don't let someone invest their precious time into you when you know you have no plans of sticking around. 
One guy comes to mind when I think of this...
We spend weeks together and had talks of being together.
Wanting to see me when he could.
Spending the night..
Telling me over and over how he loved that he could open up to me.
Holding my hand and kissing me in public..
Even made a mention of buying me earrings one time (I don't wear them, it's the point I'm making) 
Only to come back and say he didn't want a relationship...
What the even fuck? 
Talk about being confused. 
My friends were even confused and they aren't even dating!

That is what I'm talking about though, what the fuck do you want from us?
Don't come at me with love sick eyes when you see me in person.
If you don't have time to build with me on a mental level.
Then you don't deserve me on a physical level.
Don't be afraid of commitment and certainly don't be a part of our fucked up dating generation.
If we don't start communicating and doing this right we are all going to end up alone and hating one another...Simple as that. 

I Have Loved Two Times & Said Goodbye Two Times.

So I thought long and hard before typing this all out.
Exposing one of my closest thoughts.
Baring my soul to you all.

==================

I have been in love, twice. 
With two humans from worlds apart. 
Yet, these loves ended so quickly we had barely started anything.

However, they were the deepest of loves I have ever felt.
Sure, I have loved others 
But never like this. 
These were different.

It was the same with both. Unexpected. 
Like a rush of the most pure adrenaline you've ever felt throughout your body. 
A flood.
A wave.
A fury of emotions unknown.

What makes these loves so much different from the rest is they were real and raw.
Soul shakers. 

Tears fell like waterfalls when we said our goodbyes.
Not because it ended but because it was more beautiful than ever expected.
I was changed after these loves.
I must also note they did not end bitterly 
but because it would only hurt too much to stay together. 
Too wild. Too free. 
Untamable. 

6 years apart I met these unbelievable souls. 

The first was an earth shattering experience.
My life forever changed. 
Our first day together was spent in the top of a magnolia tree. 
Winds whipping around us and all we could do was laugh. 
We spent many weekends together exploring one another and everything around us.   
He questioned my everything. My existence.
He would leave for months at a time.
We would live our lives like normally when we were apart.
Never calling or texting. 
He was exploring his life and I mine.
But when our spirits met it was like a supernova of colors and motion.
It was like we never skipped a beat.
The time and space made us only yearn for one another more.
I remember lying in a hammock talking about life while dripping cold water out of glasses on one another's shoulders for hours. I still miss the way he felt lying next to me..
I remember tracing our fingers together and not saying a word; we didn't have to.
We knew what the other was thinking.
I remember the last time I saw him I was reading words on his foggy bathroom mirror... 
Something about men and who we are as people followed by an embrace for the ages..
Him smelling of the ocean--sweet and salty. 
I do not know where he is now.
I sometimes wonder.
But never enough to wish he was here.
He is too busy taking in what the universe has to offer.
And who am I to stop that?
He taught me to enjoy life. 
To never take any single thing for granted.
Smile and question.
Live freely.
After our souls tangled together everything was better. 
I hold him closest to my heart.
My soulmate.


The second was very strange to me. 
How?
That is the question that continually popped into my head.
It was too soon. Too quick.
But I swore I knew him for a lifetime.
Dare I actually call it love? Maybe? Yes?
I don't know how else to describe it.
When two souls resonate?
Our how he put it..
Just floating on your cloud waiting for someone to float by..
And we just happened to float past one another.
He shook me to my core. 
It had been 6 years since I felt a connection like this.
I told him on multiple occasions he reminded me of someone.
I don't think I ever told him who though, I'm sure he had his guesses.
Our first day together we spent hours in a hammock; wrapped up together.
Sharing stories..telling tales..questioning..smiling.
We were hiding from the sun; his head on my foot, my legs wrapped around his; arms on legs; 
I remember lying there with him and after a while we both fell quiet.
It wasn't that awkward silence though, no.
It was peaceful.
It was the kind of feeling you get when you're comfortable and know you don't have to say a thing.
We napped together that day. 
Let ourselves fall to our most vulnerable states in our first hours.
We didn't spend too many nights together...but enough for me to know he was a rarity.
Conversations were food for thought. 
From colors to the moon to playing with food. 
Laughter brought tears. 
Drinking wine with mouths stained red. 
Playing music while singing out loud.
Our last night together we had dinner and talked about ourselves over tea.
I thanked him for the time we had and wished him only the best on his future journey. 
He did teach me gratitude more than I already knew.
He could tell I was upset and said he liked it but not in a way you would think.
I remember him telling me, he liked it because he knew what we had was real.
I fought tears back for hours until we were in my room and he held me as I let them free flow. 
It hurt to know I found someone like myself and yet we were on the eve of our farewell. 
We spent that night side by side just like our first day tangled together and without words.
The morning spilled though my window and we knew it was time..
Our last moment together was an embrace and a kiss followed by, "Goodbye, My Tigress."
Was calling it love too soon?
Couldn't be....
I had known him for a lifetime.


The beauty in these loves is they were unexpected.
Without any expectation.
Embracing all of it for what it was.
And even though they were short lived and are now gone... 
It does not lessen what was there.  
These moments are some that I will never forget.

I thank you both for loving me and giving me the chance to love you back.
Wherever you are, enjoy life.
I will do the same. 

Gratitude.

I was taught not very long ago to express my gratitude.

Much more than I was. 

I was always thankful but I now see the power behind it. It's more than saying thank you. It's about connecting a little deeper. It's saying my soul and heart thank yours. 

I thanked someone for exposing their soul. 

Their eyes lit up. 

I wonder if that's what I looked like when I was first given thanks for being myself...

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for seeing me. 

Thank you for recognizing my soul. 

With my hand on your chest I feel your heart thumping...

I feel great gratitude towards you.

Slow Tiger Licks.

The rain is coming down tonight just like last night.
It reminds me of how much I love the sound,
Quietly splashing against the orange and yellow leaves in the trees..
Almost dripping down inside of me,
Cooling everything that feels rushed, or hurried, or anxious..
Your presence is like no other...strong and inspiring, moving and unforgettable.

I think of our mouths stained with wine..
It's hard to believe that we didn't leave these mountains when we were together.
When our stories and bodies touch, it seems like we travel to distant places -
Your body next to mine--I swear your fingertips could write a novel across my skin

We taste the beauty; feel the beauty between us..
I could have swore we visited the ocean twice last night.
What a frenzy to have your heart thump against mine..
Your love burning like a wildfire..

Your wet lips pressed against mine..
The yearning we feel deeply.. 

Tugging us towards one another..
Pushing us to the animals we truly are..
 "What do you see?"

 "Softness."

 "What do you see?"

 "Passion."

What a fascinating life we have..
Small moments that no one would have ever guessed..
Remember everything is a fleeting memory.
Do not question where the small moments come from,
Do not ask where they are headed, or for how long they will be with you..
Enjoy them for the remarkable moments they last.
Unexpected. Without expectations. 

We must remember to love the roughness and the sweetness of it.

With slow tiger licks, long embraces and smiles.

One Year Ago.

One year ago..
I said goodbye to the life that I knew the most.
Dreams had come true. It was almost the picket fence life.
We had everything to everyone.
Yet, not to us.
I felt tamed. 
Caged. 
Unhappy.

I threw it away and the three years attached for a new one....
Mine..

Tears were shed and words were cross.
Things did not end well.
I had pizza that night with a close friend to try and forget about what I had just done.
Tonight, I had pizza with new friends and remembered to myself how sick my gut felt that cool October night sitting beside that fire.

Its funny where we go in a year. 
New people.
New places. 
Some same people. 
Some same places.
New dreams; new goals.
New...life.

I've been working on myself since that night. 
I promised myself I would.
Betterment. 
Bewilderment.

I've met some very interesting people.
Some very terrible people too. 
I've had fights with myself, fights with no longer friends.
I've been stolen from and lied to.
Made a fool of.
Challenged my soul.
Felt defeated; felt accomplished.
Painted pictures and threw them away.
Hid my pain.
Dealt with my pain.
Cried.
Laughed. 
Screamed.
Forgave myself.
Climbed mountains and trees.
I've had new lovers and left them.
Had lovers that left that I wish would have stayed.
I've made new friends I never would have met.
I've broken myself a few nights, only to find myself when I hit the bottom.
I've made dinners, told stories.
Laid under stars and laid in fields.
Drank with loved ones and laughed.
Drank alone and cried.
Walked in the rain; basked in the sun.
Swam in the rivers and sat on their banks.
Slept alone; slept cuddled.
I have been very weak and also very strong.
I walked along seashores and tromped through desert canyons. 
I've missed family.
I've made family.
Learned and taught.
Watched sunsets and sunrises.
I've struggled 
I've succeeded.
I am evolving still because my tiger wants out.

A lot can happen to you in a year.
A lot can change you in a year.
I'm learning to not hold on to any one thing to tightly.
Let things slip through fingers like grains of sand. 
Everything is a fleeting moment.
Beautiful in its on energy.
Don't squeeze too tightly, you don't want to break it..
Handle carefully and keep your hands open.
Every moment we are handed whether by choice or by happening is a blessing.
So even if we think we fucked up...imagine yourself a year from that moment...I couldn't.
I bet you won't be able to either but I can promise you this..
You'll be a better person for going through it and happier in the end.

The Crackle Of Cigars Will Make You Think...

I get lost in my mind...


I drive with the windows up..
No music on.
I finally make it home after a long day.
I walk from my car and lie down in the breezeway. 
For some reason the word breeze-block comes to mind..
I start singing to myself...
"She may contain the urge to run away but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks.."
I stare at the walls surrounding me. 
Who decided that this blue was a good color to paint these walls? 
I listen to the crackle of my cigar...
I listen to the cars sputter down the street but all I can see is this blue.
It kind of looks like a sponge...these walls...are so strange.

I wonder what I look like to people in the carport...
Just a set of legs coming out of a hallway...
Green corduroy pants...These are weird pants..  
I wonder about the people in my complex...
Have their days been anything like mine?

I finish my smoke and continue to lie there. 
I put my hands in my jacket pockets and close my eyes.
I hear the wind hiss through the trees across the street. 
Mm, That is definitely a sweet sound.
I wish this wasn't cement under me but soft grass...that matched my pants...

Okay, maybe I should go upstairs....
I count the steps as I walk up..
1,2,3,4...
I stopped counting at 10.
Fuck these stairs.

I walk into my house and see two people tangled up in love.
Legs and arms all weaved together..
"hello."
"hi..hello."
I actually hate walking into this.
Call me harsh..I don't much care.
Luckily, I like them.

My cat is hiding in my roommates clothes that are piled up in his room.
There are weird tunes coming from the speakers...
I don't hate it..
I am, however, not totally sure of it.

Walk into the kitchen and open the fridge...
Crack
Mm. beer.
This is what I've wanted for the last 3 hours.
Something to lower my inhibitions.
Yeah...Needed.

I walked downstairs and looked at the stars...
Clear night..
Wish I was anywhere but here.
Fucking paved parking lot.
Sitting on an electrical box..
Cars zoom past; coming home, leaving for the night...
Wonder where they are going?
Consumed more nicotine..
And I finish my beer...Sad.

I come upstairs.. living room is empty. yes.
I start this randomness while listening to Ray Lamontagne
Oh wait, there is the sound of moans echoing through my house..
Whatever.

I go into my room, grab my water, throw the clothes off my bed and into the floor..
I stand there, thinking about...actually nothing for a brief moment...
I don't want to be in here..
Walk back into my living room..No sounds of sex...yes..

I lie down on the couch...eyes closed.
I hear my fan in my room humming loudly.
Why the fuck can I hear that before I hear the music playing right beside me?
Strange.

I start to think about her.
Tomi, I hope heaven treats you well.
It broke my heart today to hear of your passing.
I bet you are doing just fine wherever you are.

"I lay down with circles in my head and I dream a dream I've never had, I was climbing down a mountain to a deep dark hole and in that dream it didn't seem all that bad."
Appropriate.

Words just came on...this song...something about it strikes a cord in me..
It plucks at my strings. 
Makes me think even more than I already do...

"Words mean more at night. 
  Like a song. 
  And did you ever notice.
  The way light means more than it did all day long?"   
Hmm.

Universe, are you listening to me?
I'm listening to you.  
......Universe, what are you trying to tell me?

Many Hours In My Hammock

What an unbelievably beautiful thing when two separate energies tangle up with one another and have a feeling of the comfort of years and an electrical current running across skin.
laughter, silence, talking, questions, glances, touching hands. 
There is a certain bliss to it.
Enjoy.

The Writing On My Mirror.

Every day I wake up to a writing on my mirror. 
Every night I go to bed to a writing on my mirror.
I have it there so I am forced to look at it. 
I need a reminder from time to time to keep me focused on what it is I need. 
What it is that I want. 


Be Present. Make love. Make Tea. Avoid small talk, embrace conversation. Make your bed, make someone else's bed. Have a smart mouth and quick wit. Run. Make Art. CREATE. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Love Fiercely. Forgive quickly. Let go of what doesn't make you happy. Grow.  



Every day I look at this and my heart and soul open a little more. Even when the world around me feels like its going to hell this keeps me standing.


Be Present:  So often we are not in the moment that we should be in. We are sucked into the world of technology. Put down your phone and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and enjoy the moment at hand. You only get these moments once. Enjoy the music, enjoy the laughter, enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the company. Be present with your full self. 

Make Love: Make love with people. Whether it be physical, mental, emotional. Make love, Don't play games. Care. Drop walls and let someone in, let them see the real you. Let yourself be vulnerable, bold, and raw. 

Make Tea: This is a reminder to make time for yourself. The simple things in life are what we need to pause for when we are alone. Like dropping honey in a mug and smelling the sweet scent of spices fill your space. Feeling the warmth soothe your throat while you watch a sunset or a sunrise.

Avoid small talk, embrace conversation: It's pretty self explanatory if I do say so myself. However, somewhere along the way people forgot how to talk. People forgot what it is to have a decent conversation. To talk about more than the weather or what they did for the weekend. Push the limits. Discuss and debate.

Make your bed, make someone else's bed: Give yourself one thing to do everyday that stays the same regardless of what else is going on in the world. A routine. A basis of starting. Whether your bed or someone else's fold the sheets up. Give yourself a well made bed to turn down at night. A cozy space to call your own. 

Have a smart mouth and quick wit: Have a smart mouth in more than one way. Be intelligent. Be a smartass. Be sarcastic. If someone throws a line at you be fast enough to throw something back. Always have a razor on your tongue just in case you need it. Stay mentally alert. 

Run: Run with your legs until you can't feel them, run until your lungs are going to explode. Run to a place that is safe when things are falling apart, get your shit together and run right back to where you started. Let your mind run, wander, escape the confines of your normal consciousness. Imagine everything under the sun and then imagine more.

Make Art: Paint, draw, write, read, sculpt, cook, talk, sing, dance. If it makes you happy do it.

CREATE: Build. Design. Establish. Conceive. Form. Invent. Make. Organize. Plan. Compose. Invest. Perform. Give Life. Dream Up. Cause Something. Discover. Create anything. You just have to start by taking the first step. Create a name for yourself. Work you ass off and know what you want. 

Swim in the ocean; swim in the rain: Get in over your head from time to time. It will only make you stronger by making you kick your feet harder and pushing your arms more to keep the air in your lungs. Let the waves of life crash over you but also let the steady drizzle of life wash you clean. These are the moments that will test you. This is what makes you or breaks you. Don't give up.

Take Chances: If we never take chances where will we be? I'll tell you. In the same place you've always been. Never moving forward. Stuck. Why would you not take a chance? Ask that girl or guy out for coffee or dinner. Ask for a raise at work. Quit your job if you're unhappy. Start a new hobby. Do something that scares you. Try something new.  Move across the country. Move out of the country. Whatever it is you want to do, do it, I dare you.

 Ask Questions: The only dumb question is a question not asked. 

Make Mistakes: You must make mistakes in life and I promise you will make a lot of them. However, don't you ever dare regret a single one. Every single thing in your life is happening to take you to a place your supposed to be. Every lie, every cheat, every heart break, every burned bridge is lining you up to your future, whatever it may be.

Learn: Learn from everything. People, nature, mistakes, books, television. Be a sponge on life. Soak up everything you can. Good and Bad. Don't ever turn away knowledge. Learn dumb facts and bad jokes. Learn how to set a table and how to properly use the one of many forks at a fancy dinner. Learn something to share with someone else. Never stop. 

Know your worth: This is the important one. So often we forget our worth and how important we are to the world around us. We get stepped on and pushed down by those around us. Keep your head high and your feet planted. The world is a gruesome place and if you aren't willing to stand up and take care of yourself then who in the hell will?

Love Fiercely: Don't you ever love with a half heart. I have before and it's the worst feeling in the world. Don't stay with someone because of the hurt you don't want to cause them because in actuality you are hurting yourself more. Half-hearted love is like ripping your soul in two pieces. If you love, you love with every fiber of your being. Don't hold back. If you love someone you tell them and never look back.

Forgive Quickly: If you can't forgive, the poison will stay in your soul, not theirs. Forgive the people that do you wrong so you can move forward in your life. The longer you stay resented towards someone the more bitter you are going to be. Forgive quickly so you can stay happy.

Let go off what doesn't make you happy; This used to be an easy one for me but as the years have passed by I find myself struggling a little bit more with it. If something makes you unhappy don't deal with it or wait for things to improve, let it go. No questions. If something or someone doesn't make you smile or laugh but only brings you a bitter taste in your mouth, spit it out and never try it again. You leave things for a reason, a round two typically won't fix what was wrong to begin with. So move forward and never look back.

Grow: I left this one for the last because it is the one thing I try to do every waking moment of every single day. 

Grow mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

If you stop growing, you stop moving. 

If you stop moving, you stop living.

• star

My Tired Eyes & Soul Are Real

somewhere
[between] 
my 
self-medicating
& 
lack 
of 
sleep,
you 
think
i
would
find
some
sort
of
peace.

no!
there
is
no 
such
thing
as
peace.

only
the
chaos
i
continually
put
myself 
through.

i
hate
myself
for
my
ignorance.

i'll
eventually
forgive
myself
when
the
dust
of 
my
life
finally
settles.

only
then
can
i 
give
myself
a
break.

until
then
i'll
just
numb
myself
the
way
i 
see
fit.

i 
feel
the
back 
of
my
neck
starting
to
tense
and
my
body 
turning
to
putty

finally,
maybe
i 
can
rest
my
eyes
until
i
have
to
fake
another
smile.

The Other Version Of Myself

I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The girl that is so sad she can’t get out of bed? The girl that keeps pushing everyone away? Who’s going to love the monster in me, who’s going to love me now?





Anonymous

Change: A Constant

Change

v. 

1. To be altered; to undergo variation; as, men sometimes change for the better.

For I am Lord, I change not.
- Mal. iii. 6. 

2.  To pass from one phase to another; as, the moon changes to-morrow night. 

n.
1. Any variation or alteration; a passing from one state or form to another; as, a change ofcountenance; a change of habits or principles.
Apprehensions of a change of dynasty.
- Hallam.
All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come.

============================================================

What does it mean to change?

Is it an inner shift?
OR
Is it an outer transformation?


Who really knows?
I know I don't.
I just know that it is always happening to and around me.

A Constant.

The Only One.

She'll Meet You Where The Wild Things Are

“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy.” ~ Bob Marley

She’s worth it, your wild one.

She will set your world on fire, if you are brave enough to let her.

She will enchant you, fulfill you and challenge you. She wants you to know her, so that you can love her, quirks and all.

She wants you to understand that your adorned magnolia walls can’t hold her inside, not for long. Your expensive beamed ceilings can never be high enough or remarkable enough to be worth missing a glimpse of her beloved azure sky. Your home is a beautiful prison certainly, but it destroys her all the same.

Her spirit paces the enclosed room like a caged tigress, tail swishing furiously, looking for escape. She longs to run free. Show her a meadow full of colour, where she can dance among sunflowers. Let her roam outside with no fancy ornaments or gadgets to distract her creativity, just breeze and rolling hills. Lay with her on cool grass, fingers entwined, and watch the stars blaze a path of glory across an inky midnight sky.

Don’t ask her to sit and play happy family with you. She doesn’t care if you buy the white toaster or the black one, or whether the neighbours have a bigger car than the two of you. She isn’t interested in chasing the extra dollar to have that standard resort vacation, or attending to mindless gossip. Let her dream of a far off glen, glistening ethereally in the soft light of the rising sun. Take her to listen to the song of the dawn birds, for they are all the small talk she needs.

She doesn’t iron the sheets, or, well, anything really. She is too busy curling up with a book, engrossed in a shiny new world waiting to be explored. She has never been able to relate to the domesticated heroines of old; tumbling from her own bed to her next adventure, wild haired and bright eyed. People tell her she is beautiful in her crumpled clothes and muddy boots. Passion always is. Recognise it. Worship it. Not everyone is blessed with it and it’s not something you can fake for too long.

She may not cook you a gourmet meal, but she loves food and she delights in feeding you. Let her. She won’t follow a recipe; she will trust her imagination, throwing in delicious colours and smells as they appeal to her. Let her wrap you in small strong arms, cover you in flour and sprinkle magic into your life. She will kiss you with a mouth that tingles with spices, leaving you hungry for more. She will never let your lips starve for her.

She won’t knit for you. She is young and restless and her time is too precious to spare. Her hands have more important things to explore right now. Your face, for instance; fingers lovingly remembering every last detail. She memorises the way you shudder when she lightly strokes your collarbone and how your stubble feels against her fingertips. This satisfies her far more than a ball of yarn ever could.

Let her breathe, your wild one. She will only stay if it feels right. Your mortal hands cannot bind her by holding her too tightly. Show her your fantasies and you might inspire her. She will tell you a story about what she longs to do with you, and to you. You should stop speaking then and listen. Her words are enchantments that weave mystery into your life, and her visions will never leave you, even when you ache to forget them. In years to come you will crave the power of her dreams, and others will pale in the shadow of her intensity.

She must run away now, the stars are calling her and life tugs at her soul ready for another adventure. She cannot be tamed. Love her if you will, or let her go. She cannot do this by halves.

She is chaos; she is freedom. She wants you to join her if you can. You know where to find her. You have seen her there in your head.

She will wait for you as always, where the wild things are.

-Jojo Rowden



This hits home far stronger than anything I have ever read. 
Thank you for your beautiful words. 

To Let Her Breathe.

"The sun loved the moon so much , 
he died every night to let her breathe." 

Nature; The Beauty.