One Year Ago.

One year ago..
I said goodbye to the life that I knew the most.
Dreams had come true. It was almost the picket fence life.
We had everything to everyone.
Yet, not to us.
I felt tamed. 
Caged. 
Unhappy.

I threw it away and the three years attached for a new one....
Mine..

Tears were shed and words were cross.
Things did not end well.
I had pizza that night with a close friend to try and forget about what I had just done.
Tonight, I had pizza with new friends and remembered to myself how sick my gut felt that cool October night sitting beside that fire.

Its funny where we go in a year. 
New people.
New places. 
Some same people. 
Some same places.
New dreams; new goals.
New...life.

I've been working on myself since that night. 
I promised myself I would.
Betterment. 
Bewilderment.

I've met some very interesting people.
Some very terrible people too. 
I've had fights with myself, fights with no longer friends.
I've been stolen from and lied to.
Made a fool of.
Challenged my soul.
Felt defeated; felt accomplished.
Painted pictures and threw them away.
Hid my pain.
Dealt with my pain.
Cried.
Laughed. 
Screamed.
Forgave myself.
Climbed mountains and trees.
I've had new lovers and left them.
Had lovers that left that I wish would have stayed.
I've made new friends I never would have met.
I've broken myself a few nights, only to find myself when I hit the bottom.
I've made dinners, told stories.
Laid under stars and laid in fields.
Drank with loved ones and laughed.
Drank alone and cried.
Walked in the rain; basked in the sun.
Swam in the rivers and sat on their banks.
Slept alone; slept cuddled.
I have been very weak and also very strong.
I walked along seashores and tromped through desert canyons. 
I've missed family.
I've made family.
Learned and taught.
Watched sunsets and sunrises.
I've struggled 
I've succeeded.
I am evolving still because my tiger wants out.

A lot can happen to you in a year.
A lot can change you in a year.
I'm learning to not hold on to any one thing to tightly.
Let things slip through fingers like grains of sand. 
Everything is a fleeting moment.
Beautiful in its on energy.
Don't squeeze too tightly, you don't want to break it..
Handle carefully and keep your hands open.
Every moment we are handed whether by choice or by happening is a blessing.
So even if we think we fucked up...imagine yourself a year from that moment...I couldn't.
I bet you won't be able to either but I can promise you this..
You'll be a better person for going through it and happier in the end.