When You’re Broken On The Inside You Can Make The Devil Cry

I sat down with the Devil one night 

And opened my heart to him

Let him know that things had gotten worse since the last time we had spoke

I poured us both a drink and sat down

Whispered into his ear all about my life

I told him I was too scared to speak to loudly

Because I didn't want anyone else to hear

I spit out words through clenched teeth 

And choked on truths I didn't want to keep

Tears dripped down my face 

While he tried to catch them one by one

Silently screaming into the void

Only to feel my throat burn and my soul shatter

I told him about the day my cat died 

And how life was breaking me into pieces

How I couldn't be in my home 

Because the silence was deafening 

I told him about the sleepless nights 

And how every time I walk out the door 

I have to put my skin on to deal with the world

We finished our first drink, so I poured us another

This time a little stronger to help with the pain in my bones

I told him about the bruises

And the the countless fake smiles

How I'm constantly wading in raging waters, so cold and deep

Barely keeping my head above the waves

Inhaling water into my lungs every time I go under

Hoping that things might finally go dark

And I might finally feel peace

I told him about the night you shoved your tongue in my mouth and held me down

And all I could taste was blood and anger

How I was filled with fury inside 

But paralyzed by fear

I told him about when I tried to say 'I love you '

But was instead met with utter silence and a blank stare

And how a part of me died that night

How it made me feel like I will never be loved

I told him about the letter I tried to write you 

But how my pen kept running out of ink

And how I couldn't leave without saying goodbye

How my unlined words barely scratched the paper

So I was left to shove the words back down my throat to save for another day

Waking up and not wanting to face myself

How I walk through life and not really living

Just wandering hopelessly in a haze of pushed down emotions

I unzipped the dark corners of my heart

And laid them out one by one on the table

With bruises on my hands and holes in my knees

I neatly organized them by which one made me die most on the inside

The graveyard of my past

I sat across the table from the Devil and told him

I was trying to play pretend so that it will all get better

I told him everything

And I made the Devil cry

We Exist.

 I feel you in the darkest blues 

So bold and comforting.

Like soft and gentle, cooling rain 

Wet kisses on my skin. 

5am, we begin to stir

Waking each other gently.

With sleepy eyes just like the sea 

Soft hands to shake us from our sleep.

To trace the lines of our lovers face

Soothing blues all around us.

In this moment nothing else matters

And everything tastes like love.

.

I feel you in the lightest blues

The calmest color I've ever known.

A photograph I'll always keep 

Of early morning skies.

I'll keep the scribbled notes of you 

Tucked away inside my chest.

And continue to fold down the corners of you 

Like all my favorite books. 

.

Cinnamon sprinkled over coffee galaxies 

And faint cigarettes lingering on your sleeves.

Your skin, so sweet, with salt and care

Writing love poems with our bodies.

Hugging me from behind,

Your fingertips place butterflies in my belly.

Laughter continually spilling from our mouths

And sticking to our chests.

Soothing blues, again, surround us

While the rain falls ever steadily.

We both sit quietly soaking in 

All of these new feelings.

.

I feel you in all shades of blue

Like flowers growing in my chest.

Staring into one another's eyes

Searching for that answer.

I feel the warmth of you wrapping us 

Just a little closer.

I look at you and see colors 

I never thought existed.

.

A melody lingers in my head

A song I can't get out.

It simply sings 

Between this moment,

And my future,

You land somewhere.

And I think,

We both believe 

That we exist.

Would You Like To Walk Me Home?

Hey, how's it going?

Would you like to walk me home?

Both my hands are free

And I'm a little cold.

I've been searching for a warmth 

That I don't know where is.

My hearts a soft and lonely thing 

And nobody's home.

I'd like to play you a song,

One we can slow dance to.

Maybe the moon can join?

She could sing us to sleep if we let her.

What are your dreams made of?

Endless roads and glittered nights?

What do you want to do?

Tell me what you want to do.

Remember sitting on that rainy night

And you made me feel the way you do?

Swimming through stars and falling hard

Memory gives warmth to that right now

I told you how I'm feeling

Wrote novels on postcards

And plastered them to the sky.

Hey, how's it going?

Would you like to walk me home?

Both my hands are free

And I'm a little cold.

Nobody is home 

But maybe that's alright.

Oh darling, won't you walk me home?