I'll Keep My Cluttered Mind

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?”
-Albert Einstein



I will always take the clutter.
The endless ramblings of my own self's constant chatter bouncing ideas back and forth in my head.

The steady words that link themselves together into a delicate song
The endless poems that scatter themselves 
From my mind to my fingertips
The steady scribbles my hands write out when these verses arise  
Pen to paper sends smiles across my face

The pictures that I paint for myself
Watercolors of life's most precious images...
I want to get them down with simple strokes and beautiful washes.
Brush to canvas sends smiles across my face

My mind is nonstop
I can barely go anywhere without something growing into the lines of a book.
It never quiets...
And that is okay.

Who is to say a cluttered mind is bad?
Who is to say my mind is too much.
I'll take it over the desolation of yours.

I'll take my beautiful chaos and keep it, always.

Your Skin On My Skin

He watched her as she entered the room. Everything was washed out from the sunlight.  His warm eyes followed her every footstep that she took towards him. The shadows danced around the room, playfully hiding between the two of them. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, tired from the day.  Her smile lit up the room, because he lit up her world.  She was now within reach of him and he out stretched his arms to her.  His smooth hands touched her legs and he slowly wrapped them around to the curves of her lace covered body and up her back. He placed his head on her stomach and gave one simple kiss. With the most delicate touch she placed her hands on the back of his neck running her fingertips through his hair... he was now smiling.

She could feel his hands tighten around her waist as she brought her hands around and placed them on his cheeks lifting his head up so that she could look into his eyes.  The deepest blue with tiny flecks of color glistened in them.  She placed her hands on his shoulders and slowly pushed him back. As he laid down a deep breath of air came out followed by hands pulling her near him. Inch by inch she crept on top of him, running her hands under his shirt as she drew closer to him. In one slow but steady motion the cotton garment was off and lay beside him. With his soft skin now exposed she laid her body onto his. His warm skin touching hers was almost electric for them both.  His hands explored her body up and down as her fingers traced the sides of his face. She leaned in for a kiss and stopped just barely touching her lips to his.  She smiled and her lips parted against his. She pressed her mouth against his and her body tingled all over. His kisses were sweeter than any honey she had ever tasted.  His hands were holding her face now and she could feel his heart racing. Beat after beat she thought it was going to bust out of his chest. She couldn't lie though, hers was just as heavy.  The caress of his lips on hers were wet and full of passion.  He calmly, but without hesitation, raised up bringing her body with his and never breaking his kiss.  Her legs were now wrapped around his waist.  Her fingertips lightly touching his face, neck, and chest.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as he laid her down and made his advancements towards her.  With his body over hers she ran her hands down his back sending chills up his spine. The passion grew with every passing moment. 

The window cast a halo of light on them.  They were meant for that moment. There was more laughter and smiles that day than words.  There were no words needed for them.  

Everything they wanted to say they could feel in touch.
Everything they wanted to say they could see in the others eyes.
Everything was perfect.

They laid there throughout the day
Switching between the bed and the floor; using one another as blankets.
Finally away from the world, watching the sun set through the window.

Hand in hand...Skin on skin...Lips on lips
They watched the sun fade to night; 
One by one and breath by breath the stars fell down around them.

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving.

I give you thanks Mother Earth,

Your dirt,
Your rocks,
Your trees
Your water
Your grass,
Thank you for life.

Watch The Stars Fall Together.

Words said across the miles...
Laughter sent through the air.
This vast ocean lying between something so real
The universe is testing us,
I know that she is.

You are this beautiful song in my head 
That keeps playing on repeat..
When we share our stories
Hours tick by like minutes
And minutes like seconds.

You have your clouds full of rain
And I have my clouds full of snow
One day we will melt this snow into rain
And turn the rain into steam

You make me want to feel again 

You are like water rolling off my skin...

Constant... 
Steady... 
Soft...
Sending chills down my spine
Even across the miles.
I want you to be the breath on the back of my neck in the early morning
I want you to hold me in your arms just one time.

You give this old ghost a home again
You make me feel part of the human race
You are the soft simple sweet smile.

Who says that we can't touch 
Close your eyes 
And kiss the sky. 
I'm kissing it too 
Imagine what it feels like to breathe me in. 
Keep that clear focus 
It will happen. 
Our souls will become one 
Intertwine and mesh together   
You will feel my lips brush softly against yours.
If only for a brief moment

I'll lie awake counting the stars fall from the sky 
While you watch the sun rise in the morning frost
And in those moments we should know 
The universe will bring us near 
To watch the stars fall together hand in hand. 

Scribbled Words

It is the scribbled words
I left on top of scrap papers
That leaves you
The unfinished poem 
Sitting in the darkest corner of my room

Help Me To Remember

I wrote.
I thought. 
I prayed.

Kiss me, so I remember how.

Howl At The Moon

Start with your story...
Tell me everything in detail.
Tell me of your laughter and tell me of your tears.
Tell me everything in-between
I'll listen until you feel naked and clean.
Speak until you've had that weight lifted from your heavy beautiful heart.

Tell me of your moments,
Wrap them up with a bow.
Please fill my soul with sweetness.
With every word you spill out
Tell me of your vulnerability 
So that I can share mine too.

I always feel naked... 
Especially when I sit under this blood red moon.
I'll tell you this,
I sped out past the city lights 
And onto this empty highway.
I heard the wilderness calling
He has been yelling out my name 
Something has been tugging at my heart for far to long.
I've been yearning to howl at that moon like the animal that I am.

Come howl with me....
Let's tell our stories out loud.
Let's scream into the universe.... 
Only to have her yell back,
"Come to me and tell me everything."
I'll tell her that she's the lucky one
But to never forget that I kissed his lips first...
Once upon a time.

Let us make a pact to kiss the sky...
Lie our bodies down on the earth.
Let's fall asleep on snowy mountain tops
Only to wake upon the sandy beaches with our toes in the sea...
Hearing nothing but Mother Earth... 
Wrapping her sweet arms around us.

I didn't look back...
Not one single glance.
The more we look back...
The more we are breaking our necks.

Let's set back our watches an hour 

Just to have a little more time to the day.
Let's set out for destinations unknown and drive toward the clouds.

We'll remember to save all of our sleep for our next life.
We need to make all that we can of this one...
Learn to never hold anything back.
We will drink too much 
And laugh too much.
Remember to never hold onto to anything too long.
Let's say things we don't mean
Love with everything we are.

We need to be free.
We need to be wild.
Let's howl at the moon like the animals we truly are.

Crippled In The Snow

I remember that night when you and I headed for the clouds
But somewhere along the way we got lost in the hills. 

Everything started coming down...Was it really because of me?
The only thing I do know.....Is it's coming down on me.

Where were you when I was kind?
When laughter filled my soul...
You know, maybe I'm the one that got lost up in the hills. 

I remember trying to speak to you,
But I watched as my words floated up and fell flat

I thought we would wake up over mountain tops, lying in a bed of leaves
Instead I woke up crippled in the snow....listening to myself breathe.

It's strange to think that somehow life got in the way....

We Grow; We Are

 

We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly.

We grow partially.

We are relative.

We are mature in one realm, childish in another.

The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present.

We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

 

-Anaïs Nin

Pictures Like Postcards

Listen To The Apples

Life will break you. 

Nobody can protect you from that, 

and living alone won't either, 

for solitude will also break you with its yearning. 

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. 

You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. 

And when it happens that you are broken, 

or betrayed, 

or left, 

or hurt, 

or death brushes near, 

let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. 

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

-Louise Erdrich 

 The Painted Drum LP

Part I

And I won't be a pretty sight when the day comes that I'll be wishing for the wide open road. 
I'll be wishing for the lines to come and go. 

I pray that it will hit me clear and cold so I can watch our lives spin away 
and it will be all I know of our loving home. 
I always hoped my thoughts were louder than my words 
but I said it all when I was drunk as hell with all my money gone. 

We told our deepest secrets on the tips of those lip stained cigarettes
Yet, we probably won't remember a thing when the sun comes up. 
Over the years this is how we learned to celebrate the lives we never had. 
Drunken talks of regrets and missed dreams.

I'll call you 
when I'm all alone 
and the thoughts 
shift through my head. 

Just promise
not to blame me 
and don't swing 
while I'm down. 
You were a dream 
and the 
only 
thing that was in my head. 

I don't know what love feels like on neutral ground 
and am I wrong to say I'm the only one that thinks this way?
I just hope my secrets are safe with me. 

I can't say that I really trust myself.  

I pray that light will peek through my window 
run across my floor 
and flood my soul. 

I need this light to bring me joy. 

How do I know what you are feeling now? 
How do I know what I am even feeling? 

....while I watch these stones sink.

Like A Fresh Summer Peach...

I have my letters to you; 
some written..
some still bouncing in my head..

simple notes; questions
and thoughts of my day...

where have you gone?
you should know,
that my heart aches.. 
for your touch... 
for your kiss... to see that smile again..
what makes us long?

I am forever unknowing
unless I am by your side
and those days 
are seconds that flow by 
like water in a river

I wonder where you are
and what life has given you

I know adventure fills your soul
like a cup to the brim
always almost running over
and that is good
do not ever change.
I dare not clip those wings
and never let anyone try to.

go 
to... 
and
see 
more...
and
feel 
more...

taste life at its sweetest
like a fresh summer peach; just picked
so juicy
and full 
that it runs out of the corners of your mouth
down your face and onto your chest

no worries though
because, I,
I will do the same 
because you taught me how to make life taste the sweetest..

Universe Calling...

the universe...
i hear her calling...
i hear everything inside.
i've had my mouth closed
my lungs full
my heart heavy
and she told me to rest.
so i'll unpack my thoughts
and count them one by one.
i left secrets up on that mountainside
over looking city lights..
felt uninspired
and so damn tired..
for all the things i've done

i've gotta blame someone. 

i hear the ocean by the mountain side

as i stare toward the sky
i'll lie awake
as i lie alive
while i try to remember all the things i didn't mean.
made the same mistake twice
hoping on second chances
because you and i both know
that if it weren't for second chances
we'd all be alone

a skip
a break
a lapse in time

woke up in the morning
life..passing me by

don't forget me

but please forgive me. 

The universe...
i hear her calling...
and i hear everything inside.

Sweet Old Summertime

Memories. 

Songs that sing of our friendship and more.

Anthems of our heated days and cooler nights.

Waking up without a care in the world.

Just the sunlight ahead of us and the sweet summertime. 

Things are hard to forget when they were so good.

Smiles for days and talks throughout the night.

We had conversations that questioned life. 

Thank you for that.

Muscles Ache

My muscles ache..

pushing

pulling 

tense 

tired

sore 

dancing with people

some strangers; some known

swimming in rivers

cold waters to wash away the sweat

peddling up and down hills 

fresh air pushing my hair back

artfully swaying my hips; knees bent. 

sending out sweet rhythm into the air

riding in circles 

only to make butterflies dizzy

running home in the rain 

laughing all the way

My muscles ache the best way possible. 

Full of everything around me..

Life Is Plentiful

I dreamed under the stars last night..
I enjoyed the laughter of my friends into the early hours of the morning and fell asleep next to them.
Woke to the the sun peaking over the lake that I've never seen before and a cool breeze kissing my face. 
Pink and purple clouds swirled together like colorful drops of water in a crystal blue sky.
I fell back asleep to the sound of crickets singing their sweet lullabies in the early morning air.

My skin is burnt from playing in the sun today.
I have a few more freckles that call my skin home now.
I smell of leftover sweat, fire, and earth.
I jumped off cliffs and swam in emerald green waters.
I drank to much and I laughed to much.
I drove home with the windows down in the rain.

Life
 is 
simple
sweet
and 
plentiful

My 5 Minutes With Frog.

It brings me a comfort to know that I am blessed.

Beyond all things, I Am Blessed.

I was walking Tyson at the dog park today and I met a man. 
His back was to me as I approached him and his furry child that Tyson had already ran ahead to greet. 
As the man turned around he had the biggest smile on his face and an ascot around his neck, he was wearing a purple and green plaid shirt with these light colored denim jeans. 
I quickly said, "hello" and the man reached for his neck to speak and politely replied, "hello." in return.

I had a short and sweet conversation with him; 
Talked about the weather. 
Talked about Tyson. 
Spoke about the town we lived in.

At the end of our conversation he invited me to come listen to him play music with his band the next night.

It was obvious that this man loved life. Still grabbing it by the horns and taking control.

Before I walked away he asked my name. I smiled and told him, "Kat, and yours?"

He replied, "Frog, that's what they call me." 
He lowered his hand and just smiled.

Frog, you inspired me today. 
Inspired me to know that no matter how life is or what happens to me along the way...
To keep smiling and keep moving forward...

I hope life continues to be kind to you and I am thankful for our moment together.