When Ghosts Carry Chains: You Drown

life took a swing and hit me right in the throat

knocked out any chance of words to help me heal
pinned me to the ground and shoved a hot nail straight through my chest
unable to move it took me apart piece by piece
first my happiness 
then my sanity
leaving me with nothing but the loud thoughts in my head

this constant noise.
this constant banging.
God, make it stop

i cant see past the oceans streaming down my face
and i cant breathe for the waves continually crashing into my mouth
salt water
salt water
salty fucking water

i cant swim because my legs don't work anymore
i cant even keep my head up

life has me trapped under a glass and its been plucking my wings off one by one for the last decade.

what do you do when there is no way out
what do you do when you are drowning in the middle of an ocean

how am i so okay to pretend that life is fine
when every bit of it is not
all my thoughts hanging around like ghosts
dragging their chains
its so fucking loud 

they say God is good but where is He now?

hello? 
God? 
i'm sitting here licking my wounds!
screaming for you!  
do you see me now?
why cant you see me?

where are you?

if you spoke these words would anyone hear me?
can you hear my heart beat as you read this?

because i cant feel it anymore...