The Pace of Erosion VS The Flooding Tsunami ---Hope Wins

Sometimes I'm left feeling scattered and spread so thin that I want to disappear into my thoughts.
Disappear into the vastness and the comfort of my 14x15 box that I call home.
There is nothing that scares me here; nothing unknown.
I have my warm thoughts and blankets..
Along with the memories that I choose setting on my dresser.
Maybe, despite my outward confidence, I'm extremely insecure.
Maybe, I'm simply terrified of opening up enough to be loved.

My head feels a little fuzzy after the last two months.
A whirl wind of confusion, enjoyment, 5 hour conversations, laughter, and, now, hope...

Hope mixed with a bit of terror... 
Not like the terror of a horror movie, no.
A terror of my heart can't take another shot...

I move back to hope...

I have big dreams... 
But I have an even bigger heart.
Though not everyone sees it at first glance....