Listen To The Apples

Life will break you. 

Nobody can protect you from that, 

and living alone won't either, 

for solitude will also break you with its yearning. 

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. 

You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. 

And when it happens that you are broken, 

or betrayed, 

or left, 

or hurt, 

or death brushes near, 

let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. 

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

-Louise Erdrich 

 The Painted Drum LP

Part I

And I won't be a pretty sight when the day comes that I'll be wishing for the wide open road. 
I'll be wishing for the lines to come and go. 

I pray that it will hit me clear and cold so I can watch our lives spin away 
and it will be all I know of our loving home. 
I always hoped my thoughts were louder than my words 
but I said it all when I was drunk as hell with all my money gone. 

We told our deepest secrets on the tips of those lip stained cigarettes
Yet, we probably won't remember a thing when the sun comes up. 
Over the years this is how we learned to celebrate the lives we never had. 
Drunken talks of regrets and missed dreams.

I'll call you 
when I'm all alone 
and the thoughts 
shift through my head. 

Just promise
not to blame me 
and don't swing 
while I'm down. 
You were a dream 
and the 
only 
thing that was in my head. 

I don't know what love feels like on neutral ground 
and am I wrong to say I'm the only one that thinks this way?
I just hope my secrets are safe with me. 

I can't say that I really trust myself.  

I pray that light will peek through my window 
run across my floor 
and flood my soul. 

I need this light to bring me joy. 

How do I know what you are feeling now? 
How do I know what I am even feeling? 

....while I watch these stones sink.

Like A Fresh Summer Peach...

I have my letters to you; 
some written..
some still bouncing in my head..

simple notes; questions
and thoughts of my day...

where have you gone?
you should know,
that my heart aches.. 
for your touch... 
for your kiss... to see that smile again..
what makes us long?

I am forever unknowing
unless I am by your side
and those days 
are seconds that flow by 
like water in a river

I wonder where you are
and what life has given you

I know adventure fills your soul
like a cup to the brim
always almost running over
and that is good
do not ever change.
I dare not clip those wings
and never let anyone try to.

go 
to... 
and
see 
more...
and
feel 
more...

taste life at its sweetest
like a fresh summer peach; just picked
so juicy
and full 
that it runs out of the corners of your mouth
down your face and onto your chest

no worries though
because, I,
I will do the same 
because you taught me how to make life taste the sweetest..

Universe Calling...

the universe...
i hear her calling...
i hear everything inside.
i've had my mouth closed
my lungs full
my heart heavy
and she told me to rest.
so i'll unpack my thoughts
and count them one by one.
i left secrets up on that mountainside
over looking city lights..
felt uninspired
and so damn tired..
for all the things i've done

i've gotta blame someone. 

i hear the ocean by the mountain side

as i stare toward the sky
i'll lie awake
as i lie alive
while i try to remember all the things i didn't mean.
made the same mistake twice
hoping on second chances
because you and i both know
that if it weren't for second chances
we'd all be alone

a skip
a break
a lapse in time

woke up in the morning
life..passing me by

don't forget me

but please forgive me. 

The universe...
i hear her calling...
and i hear everything inside.

Sweet Old Summertime

Memories. 

Songs that sing of our friendship and more.

Anthems of our heated days and cooler nights.

Waking up without a care in the world.

Just the sunlight ahead of us and the sweet summertime. 

Things are hard to forget when they were so good.

Smiles for days and talks throughout the night.

We had conversations that questioned life. 

Thank you for that.

Muscles Ache

My muscles ache..

pushing

pulling 

tense 

tired

sore 

dancing with people

some strangers; some known

swimming in rivers

cold waters to wash away the sweat

peddling up and down hills 

fresh air pushing my hair back

artfully swaying my hips; knees bent. 

sending out sweet rhythm into the air

riding in circles 

only to make butterflies dizzy

running home in the rain 

laughing all the way

My muscles ache the best way possible. 

Full of everything around me..

Life Is Plentiful

I dreamed under the stars last night..
I enjoyed the laughter of my friends into the early hours of the morning and fell asleep next to them.
Woke to the the sun peaking over the lake that I've never seen before and a cool breeze kissing my face. 
Pink and purple clouds swirled together like colorful drops of water in a crystal blue sky.
I fell back asleep to the sound of crickets singing their sweet lullabies in the early morning air.

My skin is burnt from playing in the sun today.
I have a few more freckles that call my skin home now.
I smell of leftover sweat, fire, and earth.
I jumped off cliffs and swam in emerald green waters.
I drank to much and I laughed to much.
I drove home with the windows down in the rain.

Life
 is 
simple
sweet
and 
plentiful

My 5 Minutes With Frog.

It brings me a comfort to know that I am blessed.

Beyond all things, I Am Blessed.

I was walking Tyson at the dog park today and I met a man. 
His back was to me as I approached him and his furry child that Tyson had already ran ahead to greet. 
As the man turned around he had the biggest smile on his face and an ascot around his neck, he was wearing a purple and green plaid shirt with these light colored denim jeans. 
I quickly said, "hello" and the man reached for his neck to speak and politely replied, "hello." in return.

I had a short and sweet conversation with him; 
Talked about the weather. 
Talked about Tyson. 
Spoke about the town we lived in.

At the end of our conversation he invited me to come listen to him play music with his band the next night.

It was obvious that this man loved life. Still grabbing it by the horns and taking control.

Before I walked away he asked my name. I smiled and told him, "Kat, and yours?"

He replied, "Frog, that's what they call me." 
He lowered his hand and just smiled.

Frog, you inspired me today. 
Inspired me to know that no matter how life is or what happens to me along the way...
To keep smiling and keep moving forward...

I hope life continues to be kind to you and I am thankful for our moment together.

Where Has Your Journey Taken You?

"I feel like sometimes I am walking the thin line. 
All around me god is kissing the earth.. 
and I notice how delicate her lips are.
 You can't help but tilt your head back, 
close your eyes and hope it rains; its a firece thing to live.
Sometimes the color of her mouth makes me hurt all over. "

Sometimes the color of his mouth makes me hurt all over....

Long Ago.

I yearn for him like a lonely child for comforting arms; 

When the moon is at it's highest peak and the stars shimmer against that ebony background...

That is when I miss him most.

I miss him from the depths of my soul.
While lying in a hammock, without his body there;
No sweet fingers to trace my own.
Or cool water to share our sips.
I miss the laughter that filled the air. 

The never ending strolls. 
Endless looks and stories being told. 
I miss the feel of his body; 
The soft yet rough, sun worn skin. 
How his muscles were lines to trace.
I miss those deep brown eyes. 
Deep and endless just like his soul.
I miss his braveness.
Silly questions. 
Delicate lips. 

I miss the touch of his soft hands caressing my body. 

It makes me think back to when his tender lips traced my curves with soft kisses 

And how the sweat dripped off his face as it rolled down his brow.
"You smell like earth and blossoms," he would whisper in my ear.  

Oh how I long to feel his hair brush my cheek or to taste him--- 

To taste the sweetness of his kiss or the salt of his skin... 

To breathe him in like the ocean air.
I can still smell the water on his skin like it was yesterday. 
And that is when my heart swells with emotions...

When I smell that salty sweet ocean scent.

To remember colors and feelings, laughter and joy, and the beautiful memories I'll never forget...
It takes me back to that place but it has been so long ago, I almost can't remember where...