Sally The Music Teacher.

I boarded the plane and sat alone on my row. The seats to my right empty. The plane was supposed to take off within 10 mins and the traffic of people boarding was none.  
Right before we were to take off a petite woman slightly older than I am entered the hull. I wondered if she would sit in my row, and behold, she did. 
Her hair was almost like a boys; short and brown, a little dirty, but was very delicate and feminine.

She was wearing rimless glasses and a bright yellow large cable knit cardigan with the biggest buttons I have ever seen. I remember looking at her pants. Shorter yet flared, a light grey color with large white locust flowers embroidered on them. 

I stood up and let her into my row. She pulled out a book of her backpack before she put her bag away and then situated herself into the seat. We briefly chatted about how maybe we'll have the row to ourselves, and we did. 

When we knew we had it we kicked off our shoes and got comfortable in our tiny plane seats. The lady behind be must have had long knees due to the amount of times my chair would move forward in a 3 minute interval.  

We sat and talked of our homes and where we were heading. She was going to Kentucky to see her brother. I was going to Alabama to see my family. She lived in San Francisco, but was from New Hampshire. We were at the Denver Airport. 

She was a music teacher. We talked about children since we both worked with them. We talked about jobs and dreams and how we ventured to where we are now. She told me about her dyslexic issues that makes it hard for her to read. We talked about reading. Lots about reading and books. Talked about how amazing they are and the joy of being lost to a book for hours. I admired her for the way she struggled to read but still pushed herself to try. She was reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Every time I looked over at her she was so far deep into that book that it amazed me. She offered to let me read an extra one in her bag if I got bored. 

It was about an hour into the flight and we decided to share a box of snacks. Cheese, crackers, turkey jerky, and almonds. We laughed at the gourmet spread of the airplane. She asked how me and my other met. I told her the story and she loved it. We both decided we would try and sleep, that lasted a grand total of 30 minutes and we gave up. 

We then realized we were on the final descent of our flight. We buckled our belts up and hit some turbulence. We wearily looked at one another and then ahead then laughed. Talked about how terrible and terrifying that would be and then didn't speak of it anymore. We watched out the window as we lowered down past the clouds and watched the rain hit the ground. 

The plane landed and we chatted a little more. We started talking of books again. She pulled out the book she had offered me earlier. I can't for the life of me remember the name of it but I do remember the cover. A mouse with a tiny sword in his hand. We both laughed about this mouse and then I realized I had talked to this perfect stranger for 2 hours...told her about my life and everything in it and didn't even know her name. So I asked. 

"Sally," she said with a smile. I told her it was a pleasure meeting her and told her mine. 

As we talked about our next steps in our night the plane started to unload.
I left before she did. "It was great chatting with you Sally. Safe travels to you."
"Have a great life Kat, wonderful meeting you." She said as I walked away. 

All I could do was smile. 

How refreshing it is to meet someone and share so much. Our paths crossed that night for a reason and I may never know. The one thing I do know that people are amazing creatures.  Thanks for restoring that faith back into me, Sally the music teacher. 

Yellow, Be The Color Of My Day...

Yellow, be the color of my day...

We Need To Stop.

Do you ever...stop..
To think..
And wonder..
Why we do the things we do...

Why do we...
...Breathe..
Push...
For things we do not need..
But somewhere in our mind...
We feel as though we have to have it...





Why do we not..stop..
More often...
To embrace...
What it is we have right in Front of our eyes...





Why do we not...learn...
From our mistakes...
But do the same thing...
Over,
And
Over,
Expecting a different result...Insanity.

I wish I could....
Understand...
Our thoughts,
Our feelings,
Where we are going..
And
Where we have been.

And why.... 
We think the things we think. 

We need to stop...
And one day,
We will.

And when we do..
Look back,
On the past thoughts...
We will see...
All the insanity...
And thank ourselves then...
For stopping it when we did.

Don't Come Back Until You're Bleeding...

"Don't come back until you're bleeding..."
I said this in the bottom of a river gorge to the friends I was hiking with as I cleaned the dirt out of the scraps on my arm after almost going over a 10-15 foot cliff. 
Now don't get me wrong this was definitely not a death-worthy cliff, 
But a I'm gonna be fucked up in the end--how are we gonna get out of this gorge?; I may have broken something--cliff. 
It happened so fast and it was amazing. 
My heart was pounding...I was so shook up. 
Luckily, I had a friend there to help give a quick hand and one rock to finally give me a footing. 
Point is after that, I was bleeding and hurting a little bit, you know that annoying sting....but I felt alive. 
The alive feeling you get after accomplishing something or that first kiss or the way you feel when you look in that special someones eyes so deeply you get lost...kind of alive.

Anyway, back to my first statement...
Don't come back until you're bleeding...
What does this mean? Physically?  Emotionally? 
At the time I quite literally meant it physically, but you know, that statement stuck with me like it had been my mantra for years...As we hiked our way upstream trying to find this waterfall (that we never found by the way)...I couldn't get it out of my head.

I feel like we need to force ourselves to go out and get scratched and scraped, be scared and wonder over things. I feel like if we don't come back with a little blood on our skin or on our shirts; we didn't play hard enough or adventure long enough.  It's about getting dirt in our wounds and sweat in our eyes. Its about rough hands and sore muscles. It's about not really knowing the limits and if we do know them...jumping that line so fast we might get in trouble. 

I feel like we need to come back bleeding and not be able to see it, but feel it on the inside; 
We need to have cuts on our hearts and scrapes on our souls. 
We need to question life....and ourselves....and where we are..... 
And where we are going...and ask ourselves if it is real, if it's the truth....and if it's what we really want. 
We need to let ourselves cry and know its okay, because we let ourselves finally bleed on the inside, 
Whether it's over a good thing or a bad, a wish or a reality. 
A dream or a nightmare. 
We need to push boundaries and have boundaries push back; 
Just so that we know we are alive. 

I want to have heart-break and heart-mends. I want to have scars on both my skin and my heart and soul to have my stories to share....
I want to have dreams that never come true, so that I'll never stop chasing them. 
I never want to have everything I want.... 
So life will never lose wonder.

I want to live my life so vividly and take into account that this day may be my last...
That this world is meant for me to explore and make my own.

And, well, here I am, 7 hours later, sitting here...my shoulders are sunburnt, dirt still in my cuts and still on my feet, blood is still on my back...
And you know, I couldn't be happier, because I came back bleeding on my body and on my heart. 

Live live fully and don't come back until you're bleeding...

Leave A Part Of Your Heart With Me...

Once upon a time, far off in my dreams, 

I watched the city be swallowed up by the oceans deep 

While you and all your thoughts were fast asleep.

I wondered where you were while the seas swelled up, 
Wondered if you were actually dreaming of me or trying to forget about me, 
Like I am you...
But then again that's nothing on which I'll dwell.

From the last thing we spoke to our very first lines
Love is something we couldn't help but do.
We had someone but something turned us to each other.
All we want is to love and be loved.

Were we born to hold each other in our arms?
You are the voice in my head singing loudly.
And true love will find us in the end...
Faith says so.

Do we say goodbye and let it go?
Wanting to learn to love you  like this is never easy 
and I'll always be your girl,
You know this for certain
But it doesn't mean we can be one.
But time will take away our pain, 
Eventually...

Sometimes I wonder if this is the truth...
Should I stay or should I go?

So when we say goodbye to our wishful wants
We will quietly kiss away our dreams of better tomorrows.
As we reluctantly say our farewells in the bitter black night,
Silently and sadly.

Just leave a part of your heart with me 
And I will leave a part of mine with you.
Remember we are the lucky ones and will make the best of our lives.

And I will make you this promise, one day when it is time, I will return.

This Could Be All We Know Of Loving.

We used to talk about it..

Then I forgot about it.

I forgot to think about all the things I wanted to say. 

I forgot about all the ways I wanted to say them.

I forgot about the stars and how each reminded me of you.

--Yesterday I looked toward the future with no doubts..

--Yesterday I was unafraid.. 

--Yesterday I was unquestionable..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if we will be where we are meant to be..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if this is the life are meant to have..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if I should ever look back on my yesterdays..

This past is haunted and the future is fake.

Rainy evenings are when we feel it most

And nothing scares me quite like this does.

When I first laid eyes on you I thought to myself, “I don’t know what to do.”

What a fool to chase you, but it’s what I will do.

I swore I was chasing a ghost; someone I'll never touch.

Oh, home in Alabama; that's where you got the best of me. 

And it took our lust to wreck it all.

Yet, right in this moment, this is all that matters

But we refuse to be patient...

I’ll tell you, in the morning I will be with you..

But we will be different; hiding in our own skin...

And we'll ask ourselves who in the hell we are.

We are burning all our bridges and watching the ashes fly up.

Who will love us after we fall? Will we?

They say love is for fools.

We'll never have a chance to fall in love..

Our selfish ways will not get us there.

Broken hearts and broken promises are not what we want from this

But it may be all we have in the end.

What happened here?

We let all our hope fall.

Maybe you and your sad blue eyes could pull me through.. Out of all these lies..

If you thought about it…

If it’s in the back of your mind…if you have an emptiness…

We should let our worlds re-collide.

Throw your arms around me and keep this quiet

What a wonderful life;

We fell in love knowing the pain it would bring

And nothing feels better than our breaths in rhythm and hearts beating as one.. 

I just wanted you to know, you’re the best.

And even if I could feel alright when everything is wrong…

This place I have will never be right.

Always like before I’m trying hard to not try so hard.

Sifting through mishaps and photographs

I think of you much more than I should...

And now I'm looking for you again.

But something in your eyes says your falling in

Here in my arms is where you belong..

Together we will shake the nightmares. 

Love, we sleep apart for the last time.

I think I figured it out,

We are meant to be like the shore and the sea.

We’ve been drinking in the few past days.

This time we shot a star out from the sky just to watch it fall.

And I want you to see what thoughts will do...

And maybe one day I thought I could love you...

Baby, you can run away

But that road won’t take you where you need to be going.

I’m drifting out over deep water.

And I can't grab onto the tide to pull me back in.

There is comfort in things we believe and also in things we can see.

Wherever you are just know this distance between us I’m willing to cross.

And I’m tired of these desperate nights...

This is easy living but it’s not when you dance on your own.

Whoever you love now…

Whoever you kiss…

The ones in-between us, I’m willing to miss.

I don’t have the heart to say you won’t ever reach me,

Even if we were the last two in a long line, I will keep you.

But I just don’t see all the good in this...maybe we'll find something better

And this could be all we know of loving…

Never to late..

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.  There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.  You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.  We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.  And I hope you see things that startle you.  I hope you feel things you never felt before.  I hope you meet people with a different point of view.  I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

We Are Animals...

We are conversations on mountain sides.

We are the sweet kisses into the late nights.

We are the sound of rain.

We are the sugary smell of springtime.

We are the sweet traces of fingertips.

We are glances across rooms.

We are finding ourselves.

We are everything we've ever wanted, but everything we can't have.

We are animals...

I am the patience and the forgiving.

You are the fierce and never forgetting.

                                                                           We are the Earth.

                                                                           I am the cool grass.

                                                                          You are the warm sunshine.

                                               We are scared...

                                               I am the one lost among my thoughts.

                                               You are the circles that spin them 'round.

             We are chasing fire...

             I am the nervous one.

             You are the comforting arms.

It's not where I am but who I’m with.  It’s being alive and actually living. 

I will point out your flaws and show you mine...

just to remind us of how human we are...and what a beautiful thing that is. 

This is a journey not taken— but an adventure waiting to happen.  

Can't Forget.

It's a hard thing to forget about sweet memories.... 



















It's even harder to let them go...

Five Days..

Over drinking a bottle of a sweet spirit I read on the label, "whoever you are, whatever you do, recognize we are all the same."  This simple thought made me think.
Every day of our lives, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by our own will and unknown examples.When we fail we must pick ourselves up from the ashes to build something of the heavens.

We are compassionate, wild, amazingly simple, free beyond the boundaries we give ourselves.

 We are animals..
                              Free to roam..
                                                         Free to venture..
                                                                                         Free to explore..

Lets space out our thoughts out evenly. 
We are tranquil and smooth. 
We are the tides capped with white..

                                                                 Forever in Moving. 


We are the rain drops of our time; the sweet simple things of earth.We breathe life to one another.

We are animals.
Roaming.
Venturing.
Exploring.

Always
in 
motion.

Always 
the 
same.