We Need To Stop.

Do you ever...stop..
To think..
And wonder..
Why we do the things we do...

Why do we...
...Breathe..
Push...
For things we do not need..
But somewhere in our mind...
We feel as though we have to have it...





Why do we not..stop..
More often...
To embrace...
What it is we have right in Front of our eyes...





Why do we not...learn...
From our mistakes...
But do the same thing...
Over,
And
Over,
Expecting a different result...Insanity.

I wish I could....
Understand...
Our thoughts,
Our feelings,
Where we are going..
And
Where we have been.

And why.... 
We think the things we think. 

We need to stop...
And one day,
We will.

And when we do..
Look back,
On the past thoughts...
We will see...
All the insanity...
And thank ourselves then...
For stopping it when we did.

Don't Come Back Until You're Bleeding...

"Don't come back until you're bleeding..."
I said this in the bottom of a river gorge to the friends I was hiking with as I cleaned the dirt out of the scraps on my arm after almost going over a 10-15 foot cliff. 
Now don't get me wrong this was definitely not a death-worthy cliff, 
But a I'm gonna be fucked up in the end--how are we gonna get out of this gorge?; I may have broken something--cliff. 
It happened so fast and it was amazing. 
My heart was pounding...I was so shook up. 
Luckily, I had a friend there to help give a quick hand and one rock to finally give me a footing. 
Point is after that, I was bleeding and hurting a little bit, you know that annoying sting....but I felt alive. 
The alive feeling you get after accomplishing something or that first kiss or the way you feel when you look in that special someones eyes so deeply you get lost...kind of alive.

Anyway, back to my first statement...
Don't come back until you're bleeding...
What does this mean? Physically?  Emotionally? 
At the time I quite literally meant it physically, but you know, that statement stuck with me like it had been my mantra for years...As we hiked our way upstream trying to find this waterfall (that we never found by the way)...I couldn't get it out of my head.

I feel like we need to force ourselves to go out and get scratched and scraped, be scared and wonder over things. I feel like if we don't come back with a little blood on our skin or on our shirts; we didn't play hard enough or adventure long enough.  It's about getting dirt in our wounds and sweat in our eyes. Its about rough hands and sore muscles. It's about not really knowing the limits and if we do know them...jumping that line so fast we might get in trouble. 

I feel like we need to come back bleeding and not be able to see it, but feel it on the inside; 
We need to have cuts on our hearts and scrapes on our souls. 
We need to question life....and ourselves....and where we are..... 
And where we are going...and ask ourselves if it is real, if it's the truth....and if it's what we really want. 
We need to let ourselves cry and know its okay, because we let ourselves finally bleed on the inside, 
Whether it's over a good thing or a bad, a wish or a reality. 
A dream or a nightmare. 
We need to push boundaries and have boundaries push back; 
Just so that we know we are alive. 

I want to have heart-break and heart-mends. I want to have scars on both my skin and my heart and soul to have my stories to share....
I want to have dreams that never come true, so that I'll never stop chasing them. 
I never want to have everything I want.... 
So life will never lose wonder.

I want to live my life so vividly and take into account that this day may be my last...
That this world is meant for me to explore and make my own.

And, well, here I am, 7 hours later, sitting here...my shoulders are sunburnt, dirt still in my cuts and still on my feet, blood is still on my back...
And you know, I couldn't be happier, because I came back bleeding on my body and on my heart. 

Live live fully and don't come back until you're bleeding...

Leave A Part Of Your Heart With Me...

Once upon a time, far off in my dreams, 

I watched the city be swallowed up by the oceans deep 

While you and all your thoughts were fast asleep.

I wondered where you were while the seas swelled up, 
Wondered if you were actually dreaming of me or trying to forget about me, 
Like I am you...
But then again that's nothing on which I'll dwell.

From the last thing we spoke to our very first lines
Love is something we couldn't help but do.
We had someone but something turned us to each other.
All we want is to love and be loved.

Were we born to hold each other in our arms?
You are the voice in my head singing loudly.
And true love will find us in the end...
Faith says so.

Do we say goodbye and let it go?
Wanting to learn to love you  like this is never easy 
and I'll always be your girl,
You know this for certain
But it doesn't mean we can be one.
But time will take away our pain, 
Eventually...

Sometimes I wonder if this is the truth...
Should I stay or should I go?

So when we say goodbye to our wishful wants
We will quietly kiss away our dreams of better tomorrows.
As we reluctantly say our farewells in the bitter black night,
Silently and sadly.

Just leave a part of your heart with me 
And I will leave a part of mine with you.
Remember we are the lucky ones and will make the best of our lives.

And I will make you this promise, one day when it is time, I will return.

This Could Be All We Know Of Loving.

We used to talk about it..

Then I forgot about it.

I forgot to think about all the things I wanted to say. 

I forgot about all the ways I wanted to say them.

I forgot about the stars and how each reminded me of you.

--Yesterday I looked toward the future with no doubts..

--Yesterday I was unafraid.. 

--Yesterday I was unquestionable..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if we will be where we are meant to be..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if this is the life are meant to have..

--Tomorrow I will wonder if I should ever look back on my yesterdays..

This past is haunted and the future is fake.

Rainy evenings are when we feel it most

And nothing scares me quite like this does.

When I first laid eyes on you I thought to myself, “I don’t know what to do.”

What a fool to chase you, but it’s what I will do.

I swore I was chasing a ghost; someone I'll never touch.

Oh, home in Alabama; that's where you got the best of me. 

And it took our lust to wreck it all.

Yet, right in this moment, this is all that matters

But we refuse to be patient...

I’ll tell you, in the morning I will be with you..

But we will be different; hiding in our own skin...

And we'll ask ourselves who in the hell we are.

We are burning all our bridges and watching the ashes fly up.

Who will love us after we fall? Will we?

They say love is for fools.

We'll never have a chance to fall in love..

Our selfish ways will not get us there.

Broken hearts and broken promises are not what we want from this

But it may be all we have in the end.

What happened here?

We let all our hope fall.

Maybe you and your sad blue eyes could pull me through.. Out of all these lies..

If you thought about it…

If it’s in the back of your mind…if you have an emptiness…

We should let our worlds re-collide.

Throw your arms around me and keep this quiet

What a wonderful life;

We fell in love knowing the pain it would bring

And nothing feels better than our breaths in rhythm and hearts beating as one.. 

I just wanted you to know, you’re the best.

And even if I could feel alright when everything is wrong…

This place I have will never be right.

Always like before I’m trying hard to not try so hard.

Sifting through mishaps and photographs

I think of you much more than I should...

And now I'm looking for you again.

But something in your eyes says your falling in

Here in my arms is where you belong..

Together we will shake the nightmares. 

Love, we sleep apart for the last time.

I think I figured it out,

We are meant to be like the shore and the sea.

We’ve been drinking in the few past days.

This time we shot a star out from the sky just to watch it fall.

And I want you to see what thoughts will do...

And maybe one day I thought I could love you...

Baby, you can run away

But that road won’t take you where you need to be going.

I’m drifting out over deep water.

And I can't grab onto the tide to pull me back in.

There is comfort in things we believe and also in things we can see.

Wherever you are just know this distance between us I’m willing to cross.

And I’m tired of these desperate nights...

This is easy living but it’s not when you dance on your own.

Whoever you love now…

Whoever you kiss…

The ones in-between us, I’m willing to miss.

I don’t have the heart to say you won’t ever reach me,

Even if we were the last two in a long line, I will keep you.

But I just don’t see all the good in this...maybe we'll find something better

And this could be all we know of loving…

Never to late..

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.  There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.  You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.  We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.  And I hope you see things that startle you.  I hope you feel things you never felt before.  I hope you meet people with a different point of view.  I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

We Are Animals...

We are conversations on mountain sides.

We are the sweet kisses into the late nights.

We are the sound of rain.

We are the sugary smell of springtime.

We are the sweet traces of fingertips.

We are glances across rooms.

We are finding ourselves.

We are everything we've ever wanted, but everything we can't have.

We are animals...

I am the patience and the forgiving.

You are the fierce and never forgetting.

                                                                           We are the Earth.

                                                                           I am the cool grass.

                                                                          You are the warm sunshine.

                                               We are scared...

                                               I am the one lost among my thoughts.

                                               You are the circles that spin them 'round.

             We are chasing fire...

             I am the nervous one.

             You are the comforting arms.

It's not where I am but who I’m with.  It’s being alive and actually living. 

I will point out your flaws and show you mine...

just to remind us of how human we are...and what a beautiful thing that is. 

This is a journey not taken— but an adventure waiting to happen.  

Can't Forget.

It's a hard thing to forget about sweet memories.... 



















It's even harder to let them go...

Five Days..

Over drinking a bottle of a sweet spirit I read on the label, "whoever you are, whatever you do, recognize we are all the same."  This simple thought made me think.
Every day of our lives, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by our own will and unknown examples.When we fail we must pick ourselves up from the ashes to build something of the heavens.

We are compassionate, wild, amazingly simple, free beyond the boundaries we give ourselves.

 We are animals..
                              Free to roam..
                                                         Free to venture..
                                                                                         Free to explore..

Lets space out our thoughts out evenly. 
We are tranquil and smooth. 
We are the tides capped with white..

                                                                 Forever in Moving. 


We are the rain drops of our time; the sweet simple things of earth.We breathe life to one another.

We are animals.
Roaming.
Venturing.
Exploring.

Always
in 
motion.

Always 
the 
same.

Story.

You are a story in my story--and I am a story in yours. How will that story go?  Sometimes I forget about all the pieces that make up existence; that make up our stories. Those moments and those friends that are only an instant-- those humans who were a flicker in my heart without a second thought---But that, that is a story too..


What I say, what I do, what I speak about; my thoughts, my touch, my motion, my dreams--It all becomes part of you; part of us. Like magic, the smallest gesture or smile sinks into our soul and shapes our days, it changes who we are, and how we view one another.  Forever I will be etched into your mind, into your story, and remembered for that very brief interaction; for those simple moments...

Date A Girl That Reads

Date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads.

Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.




You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

– Rosemarie Urquico –