To Be Alone With You.

Back roads lead me down paths forgotten;
toward the setting suns of tomorrow.


I gave my body to the sky and to the rest of the world to have a chance to be close to you.
You gave yourself to the rising seas and never ending horizons.


Only if we met somewhere in between the heavens and Earth; Just to touch your face and to be alone with you.




Why did you go away, baby?

Reality.

Lets take two steps back; look in our hearts and see what's really there.

My Outcome.

I drove for miles the other day. Nothing but the blue sky dotted with clouds that looked like pillows in front of me, nothing but the thoughts of my yesterdays behind.  As I drove I thought about things. Where do we go? Where are we going?  Why are we here?  With every breath I took I concentrated on these questions; pondering the outcome of my life.  In the quiet and alone I realized it is up to me---I am the one that holds the answers.

Free.

I look out across the water in front of me and see the reflections of light

They glitter across the the lake gracefully---shapeless orbs.

They illuminate the the surface like there is a city underwater---

I look up at the clear heavens above

They sky is dark and heavy, the stars---countless---

And the moon---so bright and bold---she is smiling at me

Tonight as I breathe in this cold frigid air

My lungs fill--a breath of vigor

I am thankful I am free.

And Tragedy Struck.

April 27, 2011-

Phone calls coming in to say, call your family check on them.  Calling and calling. Dead tone after dead tone. I flipped on the television, I watched it happen and there was nothing I could do. 

  

Homes destroyed, dreams shattered, lives lost.  Such a tragedy has been brought upon us.  I watch as friends, families, and beautiful people never met pick up the pieces of what was once their lives to start over again from heaps of scraps of what used to be home. I want to cradle the people effected by this and make them forget and think it was all a dream.  This horrible thing shows us that each day given to us is a beautiful gift and that we should embrace it much more often than we seem to. It shows us the true compassion of the human soul.  Coming together as one in such times of need.  People coming from miles away to head back to their hometowns to help- to bring water, food, two hands to clean with, and a heart full of compassion for those who need it more than anything. There is much more to be done and people will never be the same. People who have your life--be thankful and remember we are not promised our tomorrows.



Some photos from back home. 
I am just blessed my family and friends are okay.

That Night.

With my eyes closed I listen to crickets play music with their legs as if they were tiny violins; the melodies drift into my ears as the night breeze comes over me like newly fallen snow.  I feel Mother Earth sink into me as I smell the grass and feel the dew dripping down from the many blades surrounding me and collect onto my body.  Tiny insects around my head whisper me secrets from their wings in their low murmur of circles.  I open my eyes; the moon hangs low to the Earth tonight and she is full and brilliant. She is misted with the fog above the lake, but the sky is dark and endless and the stars are bright and forever.  My soul is at rest and my body is at peace.  Life could not be sweeter.

Accept The Colors Of Your Life.

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky."

-Rabindranath Tagore

October [Part II]

 The wind was warm that day.  The sky was as beautiful and clear as ocean water--perfectly blue.  We rode with the windows down to a place he wanted to show me. Turn after turn we ventured further and further away from main roads.  The wind blew through my hair tousling it back and forth. We laughed and talked about the art festival we had just left, the necklace he bought me, and the dinner with strangers who were more like friends.  
 We pulled up in a grassy field with only one other vehicle there. We started down a trail surrounded with trees that brought on cool and darkened shade. Twisting and winding the path drew further into the woods.  "Do you see it?", he asked and he pointed straight ahead.  "See what?", I asked full of curiosity.  "The frog.", he said with a smile on his face. Then I saw it.  It was huge.  A giant frog leaping from the ground, cold and metal, weaved and welded together as art.  It towered above me. 
We walked side by side not saying a word, but continually smiling. I managed to get in front of him and before I knew it I had grew over six foot.  As he walked, he was carrying me on his shoulders down the wooden path that led over the swamps.  Silhouettes of trees jutted up from the still waters, as soft sounds of leaves rustling drifted past our ears.  We laughed and shared stories and journeyed down this winding path.  When we reached the end of our path it turned back, but we decided to take in the moment.  
He put me down on a bench and he sat down behind and above me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and his fingers traced back and forth on my chest, "What would you do if a tiger came up and you were the only one that could see it?" he said.  I laughed. The random and silly thoughts that poured from his mouth made him beautiful to me because I knew that he was much deeper than random.  
He pushed the hair from my neck and lightly touched it with his fingertips; a soft kiss followed and then another.  His passion was unlike anything. So soft and powerful---captivating.  His hands traced my arms and breasts. They traveled down my stomach and up my sides and around again like they were on a set path---I lost myself to him.  
We sat there that afternoon and took one another in.  That October day time stopped for us to take in the world with each other---to remember colors and feelings, laughter and joy, and to make beautiful memories we'll never forget...

Conversations That Cause Thoughts.

Someone told me,  "The mind works on its its own - its just a ride.  There is no "true self". Just a flow of being. Being silent, being in meditation, being with others, talking." He said, "Everything is free flowing." I can see where he was coming from saying life is just on ride. Free flowing--I disagree. I feel as though life is ours to make what we want of it. We think out most things before we say or do them--Think about it.  The reason I am typing this; Something triggered it--Made me want to say it. I didn't mindlessly type it.  I put at least a little bit of thought...so free flowing-ness...didn't actually occur---You know? We are able to choose things.  I think our final destination is not ours to choose but the paths we take to get there are.

He said we [the world/people] experience you and us them.  It takes someone special or something meaningful for us to become one with it or them---for lack of better words. I feel like we can know our true-selves; it's just breaking down ourselves enough to see us for who we really are and to stop pretending and being who the world wants us to be or what we think the world wants us to be. I am not afraid of where my thoughts, actions, and decisions come from---because I know they are coming from a true place. 

A place of pure thoughts and ideas....Myself.

October [Part I]

Hot water splashed my face and fell over my body as suds rolled off every curve, and the night of our intimacy went with it.  The steam rolled up from my feet and filled the bathroom and seeped out from under the door.  He came in without knocking and pulled back the curtain---it took me by surprise. I still remember that smile, the look upon his face. He looked me in the eyes, kept smiling, closed the curtain back and shut the door behind him. 

After I laughed to myself, I closed my eyes and put my face under the shower one last time. I turned the knob, and as I dried off my skin, watched the water fall from the faucet until it became no more.  When I walked up to the mirror it was fogged over with words--I read it, and I remember him writing of men and who we are as people.  I opened the door and the steam spilled out into his bedroom. As I walked across the room, I left footprints in my wake on the cold hardwood floor. 

My clothes lay on top of the tangles of sheets we had created in passion.  I slipped on lace to cover my nakedness. He walked in the room and smiled that same smile and said, "I like those." And he pointed at the black lace panties hugging to my body.  I laughed and said, "Thanks."  Our eyes met in that moment, and time stopped, as we both continued to smile. 

I walked back in the bathroom and continued to get ready for the day ahead.  I was almost finished when I heard his footsteps thud across the bedroom floor.  I looked to my left waiting for him, and he came.  

He took slow steps toward me.  As he got closer he stepped behind me, his hands traced down my arms and back up. He pushed my hair away from my neck and softly kissed it; and one after another worked his way across my shoulders and down my back.  With calmed passion, he caressed my side with his lips and inched toward my stomach.  With his hands at my sides, he held me with a delicate, yet strong hold.  I felt the warmth and wetness of his lips and tongue as he pressed his mouth against my skin.  I placed my hands at the back of his neck. As he slowly moved up my stomach he didn't miss an inch.  He paused at my chest for just a moment, I felt his lips part, and I knew he was smiling.  I felt him breathe me in. He said, "You smell like earth and blossoms." His warm breath grazed over my breast as he spoke and it sent chills down my spine.  He stood up and I nestled my head at his neck and took a deep breath---Ocean water...He always smelled like the ocean--salty and sweet....