somewhere
[between]
my
self-medicating
&
lack
of
sleep,
you
think
i
would
find
some
sort
of
peace.
no!
there
is
no
such
thing
as
peace.
only
the
chaos
i
continually
put
myself
through.
i
hate
myself
for
my
ignorance.
i'll
eventually
forgive
myself
when
the
dust
of
my
life
finally
settles.
only
then
can
i
give
myself
a
break.
until
then
i'll
just
numb
myself
the
way
i
see
fit.
i
feel
the
back
of
my
neck
starting
to
tense
and
my
body
turning
to
putty
finally,
maybe
i
can
rest
my
eyes
until
i
have
to
fake
another
smile.